Tuesday, September 29, 2020

BREAKING NEWS! DEMOCRATS STORM WHITE HOUSE TO STOP TRUMP FROM BREATHING!



"HE'S CAUSING ALL THESE HURRICANES!" SAID NANCY PELOSI AS SHE WAS PUSHED ALONG BY  AOC, ILHAN OMAR AND RASHIDA TLAIB.
"CLIMATE EXPERTS RELEASED THE STUDY EARLY THIS MORNING."



"ANYBODY KNOW WHERE I CAN GET MY NAILS DONE?" THE SPEAKER ASKED. 



"IMPEACH THAT @#%^%#@!" TLAIB SCREAMED. 



"I'M HERE TO DANCE THAT POLE," ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ GIGGLED, POINTING TO THE MAIN FLAG POLE ATOP THE HISTORIC PRESIDENTIAL HOME. 





"NO JEWS!" ILHAN OMAR SAID, DEMURELY, WINKING AT BARACK OBAMA WHO FOLLOWED VERY CLOSELY BEHIND .


(The statement made in this meme is NOT true, BTW. Big O didn't determine where 'immigrants' settled.)

MICHELLE OBAMA HAD NO COMMENT.
(Except in her book, in which she stated there were times she wanted to throw Barack out a window...etc.)




"WHEN TRUMP FACES WEST AND BREATHES, HE'S FANNING THE FLAMES OF THE WESTERN WILDFIRES!" TORCH-CARRYING CHUCK SCHUMER SHOUTED AS HE STRUGGLED TO SCALE THE WHITE HOUSE FENCE. "THIS HEINOUS TRUMP BREATHING  HAS TO STOP!"




"LEMME AT HIM!" BELLOWED JOHN BRENNAN, PULLING SCHUMER OFF THE FENCE AND VAULTING OVER THE TOP.




JOE BIDEN SEEMED IN AWE OF THE ENTIRE SITUATION AND, WITH NO TELEPROMPTER, MADE NO COMMENT.  


SAME FOR PETE BUTTIGEIG, WHO SEEMED MESMERIZED BY IT ALL.  



MAXINE WATERS AND JIMMY CARTER MARCHED TOGETHER SINGING, "I FEEL PRETTY".



ADAM SCHIFF WAS A VISION OF LOVELINESS AS HE GLIDED BY, DRESSED AS AN EGYPTIAN PHARAOH. 


"I MISS YOU, ED BUCK!" HE SMILED, WAVING AT THE NEWS CAMERAS. "DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE THE VINDMAN TWINS ARE, THOSE NAUGHTY BOYS?" 

WE ASKED ABOUT THE ABSENCE IN THE MOB OF JERROLD NADLER. 

"NADLER WAS REDACTED," REP. ZOE LOFGREN INFORMED US, ROLLING HER EYES. "FAINTED ON THE FIRST BLOCK COMING OVER HERE. WE LEFT HIM WHERE HE FELL. HIS LAST WORDS WERE, "I NEED A PASTRAMI ON RYE, NOW."




SHOTS FIRED! 

We were just told it's only Hillary, after Bill again. 

.

Bill is proficient at dodging bullets...fists? Not so much...


OMG!
LOOKS LIKE A SECRET SERVICE SNIPER JUST NAILED BRENNAN! 
OH, THE HUMANITY!
OH, THE HORROR!

WAIT...HE'S STILL CRAWLING FOR THE WHITE HOUSE DOOR! 
.

Awwww, so close.
So long, John...you gave it your best shot. 


A hush sweeps over the mob. 

The attempt has failed...again. 

Group hug, photo op, end play. 


CURSES! FOILED AGAIN. 
.

"DAMN YOU, TRUMP! DAMN YOUUUUUUUUU!" BERNIE SOBBED. 
"MOTHER RUSSIA! I TRIED!" 




AND JUST NOW...YES, THERE IT IS...PROJECTED ONTO THE FRONT OF THE WHITE HOUSE...THE ORANGE MAN SURVIVED. 



"QUICK! BACK TO THE CATACOMBS!" CRIED PELOSI. 
"HURRY YOU FOOLS!"









ALL IN FUN, GENTLE READERS...ALL IN FUN.  

LAST NIGHT'S LUDICROUS DEBATE PUSHED ME OVER THE EDGE. 





//WW

1 comment:

  1. -Hillary DEMANDED that Trump say he'd accept election results.
    Hilary didn't accept them.
    -FBI/CIA have shown us that Hilary's team cooked up the Russian dossier/ Russia helped Trump lies.
    We saw the Ukraine apologize for trying to help Hillary win.
    -Democrats failed to convict Trump and oust him by impeachment.
    His popularity is currently higher than Obama's was.
    -Hello, Covid-19. Collapse the economy, lock down America.
    Trump got the virus and was back from the hospital in 3 days.
    -Every Democrat cheered when Obama tried to fill a SCOTUS vacancy just before an election.
    They curse Trump for trying the same thing.
    THE COUP ATTEMPTS ALL FAILED.
    ACCEPT THAT & JUST GO VOTE.

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