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Saturday, October 10, 2020

REMOVE THE LABELS?


Morgan Freeman reminds me of one of my most favorite authors, Vine Deloria, Jr.
He inspires while aggravating.
He makes valid points that can grate.
He coaxes us to think about uncomfortable things.
He's one of those rarest of individuals who can cut others to the quick with logic and reasoning and yet leave them feeling happy for the encounter.

His personal life is absolutely NONE of my business.

I've enjoyed and shared the following brief clip from an interview he did with Chris Wallace several times.
I offer it again to show how EASY it is to REMOVE LABELS from human beings.
That rascally twinkle in Morgan's eyes is priceless.



Labels have been used since humans first developed language.
They exist because we see others as being different from ourselves.

Labels are slapped onto others by every race, by every ethnic, cultural social and economic group that exists.
Labels are used by every nation, every community, within every family unit.

WHAT IF we removed ALL labels?

WHAT IF we all suddenly became both blind and deaf and couldn't see or hear one another?

The labels would diminish, definitely.

Would the ability to reach out and touch others mean that some labels would still remain?
In some cases, maybe, but in this day and age, with some choosing to go full gender reassignment, we'd be foolish to assume by touch how to label someone.

WHAT IF we just decided to see each other as human beings and simply call to one another by name?

WHAT IF, when we look at others, we see only a fellow passenger on 'Starship Earth'?

Too much to imagine?
Try imagining it anyway?

LOOK. NO LABELS. CAN YOU RECOGNIZE THIS? 



With ALL labels removed, including political ones, seeing ALL others as "just another human being", what would we do if ANOTHER HUMAN BEING suddenly turned on us to do us harm? 

Obedient to the "Laws of Nature", we'd quickly choose fight or flight.

Fighting or fleeing when threatened makes just as much sense, is just as logical as pulling one's hand away from a flame. 

We don't pull away because we HATE the flame, or because we want to EXTINGUISH the flame.

We may like the flame, but we don't like being burned.

We react to save ourselves from injury and pain, period, the end.
No "ulterior motives", no bigotry toward fire, no racism, just a rational pain-saving motion.

Such natural reactions have saved the human race from extinction...so far.
Avoid injury, live another day, maybe.

Should we stop using fires just to keep from being burned?
That could be self-defeating on a miserably cold day, or if we needed fire to cook a meal.

BUILD FIRES, BUT PUT OUT A FIRE THAT THREATENS TO BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE.
Isn't that simply wise, logical?


My dad began teaching us honesty before we were three years old.
He said to us repeatedly that the INNOCENT need not fear investigation of their actions, that only the guilty would be averse to that.
100% PROOF of guilt was expected of ACCUSERS.
People are presumed innocent until PROVEN guilty.

He said that a LIE required other lies to cover up the first lie and that, eventually, LIARS would trip themselves up.
Thus the old saw, "Give a crook enough rope and he'll hang himself."

The day we each turned 13, dad sat us down and told us that he had provided quite enough information and advice for us to recognize right from wrong and that we were, from that point on, totally accountable for our choices.
He asked us 20 questions to prove to himself and us that we well understood right from wrong.

He said that if we chose after that day to commit wrongful acts, or lie or be irresponsible that he would NOT come to our aid, would NOT rescue us just because he could.

"There is wrong and right, truth and lie, good and bad," he said, "and there is NO in-between, NO 'shades of gray'. It's YOUR choice from here on out. If you make the wrong choices, never again come to me crying or complaining about the consequences you will pay, and you WILL pay consequences.
If I SEE you or HEAR you make bad choices, I will have NO sympathy for you whatsoever. If you break the law, get arrested, I will NOT bail you out of jail or hire an attorney for you, unless it was a pure and certain act of honest civil disobedience or self-defense, which are your rights and responsibility as an American citizen. 
If you have ANY doubt ever about something being right or wrong, come to me BEFORE you do whatever you're contemplating doing and we'll discuss it so you can formulate a good conclusion as to what's right."
He asked us frequently if we understood.

"I will NOT feed, clothe or house a criminal," he said solemnly. " I strongly dislike LIARS. I can't find a way to trust liars. Do you understand why clearly?"

It was at this point that I pressed my luck as I had a few times before when what he was teaching or explaining made no sense to me initially, and confronted him with his being an accomplice to mother about the Santa Claus, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy myths.
That had always nagged me.

"That was WRONG," he said without hesitancy. "I apologize since I can see that affected you in a bad way. You can choose to accept my apology and end the matter or continue to feel whatever you felt when you first discovered the facts."

I pressed the question. "I'd rather you tell me if you considered it RIGHT all those years to...to..."
I couldn't bring myself to say LIE.
So he did.
"To lie?"
I nodded yes and didn't look up.

"NO lie is right. I consider those lies we told you children wrong. I am guilty of lying, which also makes me hypocritical in telling you not to lie. What do you feel we should do about this?"

I raised my head so we could see each others eyes. It took everything I had to answer him honestly. I had no idea how he'd react.
My mind raced to be logical, to be 'adult', to be sincere. My heart was pounding almost out of my chest.

"Never again speak to us about not lying," I almost whispered. "You have no right to do so since you admit to both lying and hypocrisy."
He heard me.
I waited.

"Agreed," he calmly said. "We both realize the deep harm liars and hypocrites can do to others. We can chalk it up to a valuable lesson sadly learned and not rehash it again, can we?"

"Agreed," I said, fighting back tears.

He leaned closer to me.
"Might we also agree that, no matter what, even in a case like this, we can still love those who commit wrong, but cannot possibly condone wrong?"

"Agreed," I replied and hugged him more tightly than I ever had before.

When this "session with dad" was done, he revealed to us that he had tape-recorded everything that was said, pulled out the recorder and played different parts of the conversation to ONLY us.
"This is so neither of us can forget what either you or I have said here," he explained.
Holding up the tape he said, "This goes in my lock-box at the bank today. Only you and I will ever listen to this recording, on my honor."

Well, we were impressed.
And we were quite careful from that point on to conduct ourselves accordingly.
We knew that dad was a man of his word.
He had pulled back his parental bow, taken us from his quiver and sent us sailing into the adult world.


WHAT IF all parents adopted a similar 'technique'?

WHAT IF parents made their children solely responsible for their actions and offered them NO EXCUSES?
WHAT IF parents refused to rescue teens and adult children from their bad choices?
WHAT IF parents sat their youngsters down, explained 'law and order', citizen responsibility, the Bill of Rights, and agreed that any society needs laws, laws that, no matter if we agree or disagree with them, MUST be obeyed, and then thoroughly explained concepts like 'guilt by association', 'aiding and abetting', inciting to riot, that if you do a crime, you WILL do time?

WHAT IF, instead of encouraging a VICTIM MENTALITY, parents refused to accept that from their children, refused to play the 'BLAME GAME', showed kids that economic status, social standing, gender, race, NOTHING could limit their advancement to as high as they wished to go?

Early in life, I saw the result of NOT 'feeding' a child with sympathy.
I had an uncle who was 3 years younger than I, same age as my only sibling, my brother.
As far back as I had memory, my grandmother had sewn shirts for the boys and dresses for the girls out of feedsacks that their manufacturers had specially printed just for that purpose after the depression.

Also, my grandparents didn't have indoor plumbing until I was almost 14 years old. Neither did 9 of 10 households...very rural Appalachia.

My uncle came running home from his brand new school one day, age 7, crying, shaking, angry.
When he had calmed down, he told my grandpa that other children had mocked him because of his feedsack shirt and because he asked where the "outhouse" was.
There wasn't one.
The new school had indoor plumbing and uncle had not yet seen a faucet or a flushable toilet.

My grandpa just looked at him in that familiar "Let me study on this a minute" way he had of thinking before he spoke.
Uncle was still making sobbing sounds but had stopped crying.

Grandfather took uncle by the shoulders and said, "I'm glad you learned new things at school today. Tell me, does this," he asked, touching the shirt, "or that," he pointed to the outhouse, "change this," pointing to uncle's heart, "or this," he tapped uncle's temple, signifying the mind.
Uncle looked at his dad for maybe two full minutes.
Then he shook his head, no.
My grandpa said, "You've learned good lessons, son. That's good."

And that was it...finis...all done.
Uncle went off to change into 'play clothes'.

Grandpa looked at me.
I saw the question in his eyes.
"It made me angry, too," I said softly.
His eyes were sad.
"Anger wraps us in chains if we let it," he sighed.

All done, and the incident was never mentioned again.

Such reactions surely beat shooting at people, or going after them with baseball bats or knives.

In spite of (or maybe because of?) incidents like this, uncle went on to become a very successful business owner... and a great dad.

My grandfather was the 7th son in a family of 14 children. Of those 14, ONLY ONE, the 'middle' brother went in the opposite direction of his siblings.
He never controlled his anger, never suggested that his 5 children did. He actually incited them to fight and steal and bully.
He moved away from the tribe and family members, who had no tolerance for such people.
The result was the violent death of one son at age 18 and his incarceration and that of his 3 other sons.  His only daughter became an abused wife who also died quite young.
His choices became lessons among the people. 


POOR CHOICES ARE THOSE THAT ONLY WE CAN MAKE.

HOW WE LABEL EVEN OURSELVES CAN LEAD TO MISPLACED BLAME.

FAILURE TO SELF-DISCIPLINE CAN LEAD TO RUIN .

UNWILLINGNESS TO MAKE GOOD, SANE, LOGICAL CHOICES IS STILL NOBODY'S FAULT BUT THE CHOICE-MAKER.

HANDING ONE ANOTHER EXCUSES CAN LEAD TO TRAGEDY.

HOLDING GRUDGES ONLY HURTS THE GRUDGE-HOLDER.

ASSIGNING THE WRONGS OF SOME FROM THE DISTANT PAST TO EVERYONE IN THE PRESENT IS INSANE.

LYING TO OURSELVES AND OTHERS ISN'T WORTH IT.

REFUSING TO BE ACCOUNTABLE WHEN WE ERR WON'T SAVE US FROM PAYING THE PRICE FOR WHAT WE DO..

IGNORING THE FIRES WE BUILD INSIDE OURSELVES THAT THREATEN TO BURN US CAN CONSUME US FROM THE INSIDE OUT.


There are a lot of fires burning in cities and suburbs tonight that nature surely did NOT set.

There is a lot of unbridled anger. Anger can enslave us.

Laws are being broken.

LIVES are being taken, threatened.



Remember our two choices when threatened?

FIGHT OR FLIGHT.

REMOVE THE DAMNED LABELS AND JUST SEE THE THREAT.


FIRE DOESN'T NEED A LABEL FOR US TO RECOGNIZE IT. 

IT ISN'T RACIST TO DOUSE A FIRE THAT'S ABOUT TO BURN DOWN A HOUSE.

OR A NATION.




_______________________________








//WW

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