Daniel Fitzpatrick, 13-year-old seventh-grader from Brooklyn, NY.
Part of a letter he left behind....
After several days of both grief and anger, Daniel's father, whose name is also Daniel, issued a statement:
“The choice that my boy made is an answer, but it’s not the right answer,”Fitzpatrick said. “Don’t let anybody demean you because of the way you look, the way you feel — you matter. You do matter.
And I’ll tell you honestly, you matter to me and you matter to my son.”
“The choice that my boy made is an answer, but it’s not the right answer,”Fitzpatrick said. “Don’t let anybody demean you because of the way you look, the way you feel — you matter. You do matter.
And I’ll tell you honestly, you matter to me and you matter to my son.”
Still, Fitzpatrick said, there was no consolation for his family’s staggering grief ...
I FEEL YOU SHOULD PERHAPS SEE THE PHOTOS OF OTHER YOUNG CHILDREN WHO ALSO DECIDED TO END THEIR OWN LIVES RECENTLY.
MAYBE, SEEING THESE FACES, READING THESE NAMES, WILL SET US ALL TO THINKING, TO WONDERING...
"HOW?
WHY?
WHAT COULD ANYONE HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY?
WHAT ELSE COULD HAVE BEEN DONE?"
MAYBE, BECAUSE OF ALL THESE FACES, THEIR STORIES, THE COMMON THREADS WE SEE IN ALL OF THEM, WE CAN GO ON TO HELP THOSE WHO STRUGGLE WITH SUCH A DECISION.
MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, ONE OF US CAN HELP SAVE ONE YOUNG LIFE....
SAVING ONE CHILD, ONE HUMAN BEING FROM SUICIDE IS A WONDERFUL THING, MY FRIENDS.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT A "BLAME GAME".
BLAMING SOLVES NOTHING.
I FEEL YOU SHOULD PERHAPS SEE THE PHOTOS OF OTHER YOUNG CHILDREN WHO ALSO DECIDED TO END THEIR OWN LIVES RECENTLY.
MAYBE, SEEING THESE FACES, READING THESE NAMES, WILL SET US ALL TO THINKING, TO WONDERING...
"HOW?
WHY?
WHAT COULD ANYONE HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY?
WHAT ELSE COULD HAVE BEEN DONE?"
MAYBE, BECAUSE OF ALL THESE FACES, THEIR STORIES, THE COMMON THREADS WE SEE IN ALL OF THEM, WE CAN GO ON TO HELP THOSE WHO STRUGGLE WITH SUCH A DECISION.
MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, ONE OF US CAN HELP SAVE ONE YOUNG LIFE....
SAVING ONE CHILD, ONE HUMAN BEING FROM SUICIDE IS A WONDERFUL THING, MY FRIENDS.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT A "BLAME GAME".
BLAMING SOLVES NOTHING.
FINDING THE CAUSE, THE REASONS HE GAVE UP WANTING TO LIVE, AND WHY, AND HOW THAT COULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT, THAT MIGHT HELP US ALL SEE THINGS, AND SEE CHILDREN AT RISK, IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT.
WE CANNOT KNOW NOW WHAT REALLY WENT ON ALL THOSE MONTHS OR YEARS THAT DANIEL SAID HE SUFFERED, BUT IF EVERYONE, ALL THE ADULTS, AND EVEN HIS SCHOOLMATES AND SISTERS, HAD BEEN MORE INVOLVED, HAD JUST LISTENED, HAD HELPED, THEN WHAT?
WE WON'T EVER KNOW THE ANSWERS TO THOSE QUESTIONS, EITHER.
DANIEL IS GONE.
WE CANNOT KNOW NOW WHAT REALLY WENT ON ALL THOSE MONTHS OR YEARS THAT DANIEL SAID HE SUFFERED, BUT IF EVERYONE, ALL THE ADULTS, AND EVEN HIS SCHOOLMATES AND SISTERS, HAD BEEN MORE INVOLVED, HAD JUST LISTENED, HAD HELPED, THEN WHAT?
WE WON'T EVER KNOW THE ANSWERS TO THOSE QUESTIONS, EITHER.
DANIEL IS GONE.
WE CAN'T ASK HIM.
FROM CBS NEWS, MAY, 2015:
From 1993 through 2012, there were 657 suicides among children aged 5 through 11. Most were 10 or 11.
[S]uicide warning signs in children, includ[e] withdrawing from friends and favored activities, prolonged unhappiness and talking about suicide. Those are indications that children may need help from a mental health specialist.
"If parents are concerned about their child, they should ask them
directly if they're having thoughts about killing themselves," he said.FROM CBS NEWS, MAY, 2015:
From 1993 through 2012, there were 657 suicides among children aged 5 through 11. Most were 10 or 11.
[S]uicide warning signs in children, includ[e] withdrawing from friends and favored activities, prolonged unhappiness and talking about suicide. Those are indications that children may need help from a mental health specialist.
[MY NOTE: THAT REALLY IS A BIT NAIVE, TO ASSUME THAT A SUICIDAL CHILD WILL ADMIT TO BEING SUICIDAL. ASTUTE AND SUBTLE, BUT FREQUENT, OBSERVATION SHOULD TELL ANY PARENT WHEN THINGS HAVE GONE WRONG.]
Earlier this spring, the CDC reported the suicide rate for older girls and young women is rising at a pace far faster than for young males. That report, published in March, found 5,178 suicide deaths among young people aged 10 to 24 in the U.S. in 2012. Suicide was the second leading cause of deaths in that age group, after accidents.
While the suicide rate increased for young people of both genders since 2007, and remains three times higher for young males than young females, the increase among females has been steadier."
OTHER "WARNING SIGNS"....
- Feelings of Hopelessness
- Anxiety, agitation, trouble sleeping or sleeping all of the time
- Expressions of having no reason for living; no sense of purpose in life
- Feelings of being trapped - like there's no way out
- Increased alcohol and/or drug use
- Withdrawal from friends, family, and community
- Rage, uncontrolled anger, expressions of wanting or seeking revenge
- Reckless behavior or more risky activities, seemingly without thinking
- Dramatic mood changes
- Giving away prized possessions
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Visiting or calling people to say goodbye
- Talking about being a burden to others
Losses
Losses and other events - whether anticipated or actual - can lead to feelings of shame, humiliation, or despair and may serve as triggering events for suicidal behavior. Triggering events include losses, such as the breakup of a relationship or a death; academic failures; trouble with authorities, such as school suspensions or legal difficulties; bullying; or health problems. This is especially true for youth already vulnerable because of low self-esteem or a mental disorder, such as depression. Help is available.
BELOW, PERHAPS THE YOUNGEST AMERICAN CHILD SUICIDE, AGE 6.
The young girl announced she was going to kill herself before she was sent to her room, where she apparently did just that.
SUICIDE, "FOR LOVE"... OR FOR NOT BEING LOVED?
THOSE WHO TRULY LOVE SOMEONE NEVER WANT THEIR LOVED ONES TO DIE....REALIZE THIS, PLEASE.
ALSO REALIZE THAT SOMEONE DOES LOVE EACH OF US.
IT MAY NOT SEEM THAT WAY, BUT IT'S A FACT.
THE 18-YEAR-OLD BELOW WAS TALKED INTO SUICIDE....BY HIS "GIRLFRIEND"....
Conrad Roy III took his own life, but not before having second thoughts about it.
His "girlfriend" told him to get back in his vehicle and stay there until he died from carbon monoxide poisoning.
Shemay not even go to prison, but Conrad is dead.
And his mother can't stop crying....
SUICIDE BECAUSE OF BULLYING?
WHY DON'T WE TEACH OUR CHILDREN THAT THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS REALLY DON'T MATTER?
WHY DOES OUR SOCIETY ENCOURAGE BULLYING?
WHY WOULD A CHILD KILL HIMSELF/HERSELF BECAUSE "OTHERS DON'T LIKE ME, MAKE FUN OF ME"?
WHY AREN'T BULLIES PROSECUTED WHEN THEIR BULLYING CAUSES A DEATH?
DON'T WE BELIEVE THAT CHILDREN KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG?
OF COURSE THEY DO!
11-YEAR-OLD ARIANA CORDOVA'S family said she showed signs of bullying and depression in the past.
She was put through counseling and programs.
Her sister said Ariana was not showing any signs of suicide before her death.
“There are people on her bus that said she was counting down days but she never let any of us know. She acted like everything was fine,” Isabella said.
Cordova is not the only one. A second Fort Collins middle school student also took his own life during the weekend. The11-year-old Blevins Middle School student died Saturday night. His family has asked to keep his identity private.
FROM THE SAME COUNTY, MARCH, 2016....
Gavin Holden's classmates at Webber Middle School told him to "just go kill yourself."
Again. And again. And again.
"When you hear that every day from multiple people, you start to believe it," he said.
Thoughts of his family — a mother, little sister, cousin — and his love for music were enough to stop him.
Other times his mother, Amy Smith, walked in just in time to tackle her now 15-year-old son and prevent him from ending his life.
Holden still fights depression but has learned how to cope with it to help him through the dark times.
"When those thoughts come in, you have to really think about the people you love and the things you love doing,'' he said. "If you can't think of anything, then find something to love.''
Last year, 33 youths ages 17 and younger were admitted to Poudre Valley Hospital in Fort Collins and Medical Center of the Rockies in Loveland following suicide attempts, a 6.5 percent increase from 2014. Banner Health, which also has a facility in Fort Collins, did not have similar data available.
Without data from other area hospitals, it's unknown how youth suicide attempts in Larimer County compare to the national average of 25 suicide attempts to every death, as cited by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
But the 33 attempts and the deaths of four Larimer County children by suicide last year prompt a haunting question: What is pushing these young lives to the brink?
IN 2015 IN THIS SAME AREA:
- A 14-year-old Estes Park boy died by suicide April 21
- An 11-year-old Fort Collins girl died by suicide Nov. 16
- An 11-year-old Fort Collins boy died by suicide Nov. 21
- A 12-year-old Bellvue boy died by suicide Dec. 20
BELOW, SANTANA, A LAKOTA CHILD, DEATH BY SUICIDE AT AGE 12...
Native Americans have always had a higher suicide rate than non-natives in the U.S., and the number is rising, especially on Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, home of the Oglala Lakota people. This year alone, more than 100 Pine Ridge youths between the ages of 9 and 24 attempted suicide. At least 19 succeeded.
“We see Lakota children really grieving their friends who have killed themselves,” he said. “They will post suicidal thoughts like, ‘See you soon,’ or ‘I’m right behind you.”
Suicide among Native youth is a crisis, and one that is not receiving the attention it needs."
WHY DO WE, AS A SOCIETY, TEND TO GROUP PEOPLE, INCLUDING CHILDREN, BY STUPID THINGS LIKE BODY SIZE, PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, "STRAIGHT OR GAY",
"NERD" OR NOT, "JOCK" OR NOT, ETC?
WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT, AND BEING DIFFERENT IS SOMETHING WE REALLY NEED TO MAKE SURE OUR KIDS ARE 'OKAY' WITH.
TEACH THEM THAT IT WOULD BE A SAD, DULL WORLD IF EVERYONE WAS... "BEAUTIFUL", RICH, POPULAR, OR ANY OF THAT CLASSIFICATION SYSTEM THAT HAS BECOME "THE NORM".
THERE IS NO "NORM".
WE ARE AS UNIQUE, EACH OF US, AS OUR FINGERPRINTS, AS DIFFERENT AS EACH SNOWFLAKE, EACH LEAF....WE HAVE TO STOP PIGEON-HOLING AND CATEGORIZING HUMAN BEINGS!
Ronin was homeschooled after leaving the school (due to bullying) and former classmates believe his beloved hobby of cheerleading spurred homophobic abuse, according to KOVR-TV.
Riley Coleman, also a former classmate, struggled to keep back tears next to her mother as she explained what happened to Ronin.
“He was bullied very badly. I just want to give him...,” Coleman paused as she lost composure. “It’s not okay to bully people.”
“I’m so sorry we couldn't save you, Ronin,” one classmate wrote."
BELOW, DYLAN STEWART, WHO WAS ONLY 12 WHEN HE HANGED HIMSELF, BUT HE WAS RESUSCITATED AND LIVED 8 DAYS BEFORE HE DIED.
OTHER NATIONS ARE BEGINNING TO SEE A RISE IN CHILD SUICIDES...
FROM THE U.K.:
Nearly 100 children aged 10 to 14 killed themselves in the UK in the past decade, according to figures from the Office for National Statistics (ONS).
Charities said the numbers were a “national scandal”. The records show 98 children under 15 killed themselves in the UK from 2005 to 2014, 59 boys and 39 girls.
Child Suicide Is A Crisis In Canada
"We have 10-year-old kids taking their lives. Something is terribly wrong."
The suicide rate for children under 15 in this territory is 50 times the national average.
SUICIDE AND "PSYCHIATRIC DRUGS"....
Preschoolers comprise the fastest growing psychiatric-drug-using demographic in the United States. Indeed, as many as three in 1,000 children age 6 and under are taking some kind of mental-health medication. And it's not just Ritalin. Prozac and Zoloft are close behind—research now shows that their usage among preschoolers has more than doubled in recent years.
Even in adults, the effects of antidepressants are poorly understood, and virtually nothing is known about the way they work in children. Moreover, controlled clinical studies have never been performed on minors. As a result, no medication is actually FDA approved to treat depression for the pre-K set. (Or, for that matter, young children at all. Prozac, uniquely, can be prescribed to patients age 8 and up, but that’s it.)
But children are being prescribed such pills anyway.
Evan Perry was one such child, having been prescribed antidepressants from the time he was 7 years old, not long after he’d climbed onto his school’s rooftop in what appeared to be a serious suicide attempt. Perry was the subject of a recent documentary made by his filmmaker parents, Boy Interrupted, which aired recently on HBO. At times heart-wrenching, the film chronicles Evan’s brief life and his struggles with both depression and psychiatric medication.
“I think the first dramatic turning point was one that didn’t even make it into the movie," says Evan’s mother, Dana Perry, of her experience interviewing for preschools. “Not only did we not get in anywhere, we came away with a serious mental-health referral."
There is eerie footage of Evan, at age 7, demonstrating how he plans to hang himself. At age 15, during a reduction in his lithium dosage, Evan jumped to his death from a window. In one episode, young Evan spontaneously breaks into a song about suicide. In another, he pauses from frolicking on the beach to confide that he has a gun and is preparing to kill his little brother and his parents. "
BOTTOM LINE....WATCH AND CARE....SOMETIMES ALL A PERSON NEEDS IS SOMEONE TO LISTEN, MAYBE A HUG, AN ASSURANCE THAT, NO MATTER WHAT, THEY ARE NOT ALONE AND SOMEONE CARES, SOMEONE VALUES THEM.
THE HUMAN MIND IS BOTH AMAZINGLY STRONG, CAPABLE OF OVERCOMING INCREDIBLE ADVERSITY, AND ALSO EXQUISITELY FRAGILE....
EVERY HUMAN HAS A MIND....HANDLE WITH CARE....
AND NEVER, NEVER IGNORE SOMEONE WHO TALKS ABOUT SUICIDE....THE BELIEF THAT PEOPLE WHO TALK ABOUT KILLING THEMSELVES USUALLY DON'T DO SO IS A HUGE MYTH.
LOVE.
CARE.
HELP....
.
.
____________________________________
MORE INFO:
The Role of High School Teachers in Preventing Suicide
An information sheet that helps teachers understand why suicide prevention fits their role as a teacher.
Suicide Prevention Resources for Parents/Guardians/Families
A list of websites and other online information that have prevention resources for parents, guardians, and other family members.
Suicide Prevention Resources for Teens
A list of websites with suicide prevention resources for teens - for those who may be at risk for suicide and those who have friends who may be at risk.
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